High-level success with women comes down to three distinct pillars: desire, technique, and strategy.
Most guys get completely overwhelmed trying to master all three at once, but there is a strict hierarchy to follow.
Without desire, the other two are completely useless.
Think of desire as the motor force. It is the fuel in the tank.
If there were a pill that could eliminate your fear of social consequences and just leave you with raw, unadulterated drive, your results would skyrocket.
You wouldn’t have much anxiety when it comes to talking to women. You would approach women, ask for the number, follow up, and push for an instant date instead of rejecting yourself before you even hear a “no.”
Technique is what separates you from the average drunken guy at the club.
The drunk guy has plenty of desire and his foot is completely off the brake, so he’ll eventually stumble into a result through sheer volume.
But when you add technique, learning how to offer value instead of asking boring questions, mastering the timing of a tease, and turning observations into push-pulls, you operate on a level far above him.
It’s exactly like practicing soccer drills in your driveway. . . . Eventually the moves become so mechanical that you execute them in the game without even realizing it.
And finally, having a strategy means preparing for success in advance.
It’s having the logistics sorted before you even leave the house.
It’s buying wine for your apartment ahead of time, ensuring you live near the venues, and knowing exactly how to handle a woman’s friends when she wants to join you in an Uber.
Now, why do you bother putting all that work in?
Desire.
You do it because you are planning to succeed, not just hoping it happens by accident.
If you find yourself lacking that motive force, you need to fix your set point.
Cut out the distractions that drain your edge, remind yourself of your explicit “why,” and stop pretending you don’t want the outcome.
Make no apologies for your desires as a man.
You have to decide whether you care more about avoiding a moment of awkwardness or achieving the success of your dreams with women.
If you take a thirty-minute cab ride to her place at the end of the night and end up riding back alone, treat it as a victory because you pushed the envelope further than the guy who stayed home.
The only thing you should truly be terrified of isn’t a girl rejecting you on a random night out.
You should be terrified of looking at your life five years from now and realizing you haven’t made a single ounce of progress.
Own your hunger, calibrate your technique, and execute your strategy with zero reservations.
—Todd V
