Most guys overcomplicate the idea of approaching a woman.
They stress about what to say, how she’ll react, or where the conversation will go. But an approach is just this: You walked up and made a noise. That’s it. That’s a win.
If you’ve got approach anxiety, your standard should be dirt simple: say “Hey.”
That’s a successful rep. You approached. You took action. You did the part that scared you.
As you level up, your standard has to evolve.
When you’re consistently starting conversations, the next milestone is going man-to-woman—saying something polarizing, giving a genuine compliment, sparking a real interaction.
If you’re stuck in the platonic zone, that doesn’t count anymore. Now a “rep” means taking a risk. Leaning in. Creating real tension.
The standard keeps climbing. For me, if I don’t challenge a girl—if I don’t spark something real—I don’t count it.
I’ve had sets where I’m charming, smooth, and she’s into me . . . but there’s no spark. No edge. I know I left my power on the table. So it doesn’t count.
That’s how you grow. You set a baseline for where you are now, and then you raise it. Over and over.
When I was getting back into game full-time, I set a rule: three approaches a day, every day.
No exceptions. I wove them into my routine—on the way to the gym, the way back, wherever. If I got home and hadn’t done three, I’d turn around and go back out.
That consistency? It builds advanced game skills.
Mastery isn’t magic. It’s reps, done with intention, and standards that grow with you.
—Todd V
