We often obsess over the “right” things to say to women.
But here’s the truth: words are only a fraction of what she’s responding to.
Your body language, eye contact, tone, and gestures speak volumes about you.
Ironically, trying to control every detail of your body language usually backfires, making you more self-conscious and less natural.
In my early years of teaching game, we developed a list of “do’s and don’ts” for body language—what to avoid and what to practice.
Surprisingly, students who tried to follow these pointers too strictly actually became even more awkward. They were so focused on getting it “right” that they ended up feeling insecure, and their interactions suffered as a result.
The real key to good body language?
It all starts from within.
If you genuinely believe that you’re bringing value to the interaction, your body language will naturally follow.
Confidence radiates, and if you’re calm and relaxed, a small slip-up, like a break in eye contact or an odd hand movement, won’t be a dealbreaker.
One practical tip: rather than trying to “stop” bad habits, replace them.
For instance, if you tend to fidget, try putting your thumbs in your back pockets. This forces you into a grounded, confident stance without overthinking.
Remember, body language is a reflection of your internal state.
Focus on changing your mindset, and your gestures, posture, and tone will align. Get comfortable in your skin, and let that confidence shine through naturally.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about being authentic and enjoying the moment.
Keep working on your inner game, and the rest will follow.
-Todd V
