This episode of the Todd V Show is directly inspired by a recent coaching experience I had in Europe. I spent two weeks with a one-on-one private client who was at a tricky stage in his game: the frustrating intermediate phase.
This guy has had success before and knows what he’s capable of at his best, but he was putting immense pressure on himself to achieve those top results consistently.
To address this, we focused on making the game fun again.
It’s ironic, really, because game, when done right, is one of the most enjoyable experiences in life. When you’re feeling frustrated, the goal is to get out of your head, relax, and enjoy the process rather than stressing about the outcome.
One effective strategy is to use silly openers.
These take the pressure off because the expectation of success is low. For example, you could ask a ridiculous question like, “Which is better, eagles or watermelons?” It’s about having fun and being playful.
Cocky openers can also work wonders. These are intentionally over-the-top, like walking up to a group of strangers and saying, “Sorry I’m late, traffic was awful!”
Such openers can lead to either funny blowouts or surprisingly good interactions. The key is to detach your ego from the result.
If you find yourself in a downward spiral, take a break. Walk around the block, do some jumping jacks, and reset your mindset. On the flip side, if you’re in an upward spiral, ride that wave for as long as you can.
Another technique is to change your focus. Instead of aiming for a phone number or a date, set smaller goals like making the girl laugh or just having a fun conversation. This shifts your win condition and makes the whole process less stressful.
Finally, if you’re struggling with approach anxiety, use a timer. Give yourself 20 minutes to find someone to approach. This adds a gamified challenge and helps maintain momentum.
Remember, game is supposed to be fun. It’s called a game for a reason, not work.
Try these techniques, find what works for you, and enjoy the process. See you in the next episode!
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Until next episode.
-Todd V
