Emotional intelligence, in essence, is the ability to decode others’ emotions and predict their reactions to various situations.
Think of it as the art of “reading” people.
You may know me as just a dating coach, but I was once a professional poker player.
And I can tell you from experience that the way you read a poker hand is the same way you read a girl’s emotions during an interaction.
It requires paying very close attention, and taking note of how people behave.
This will enable you to do two things:
1) Predict their future behavior
2) Know how to respond to that behavior
But how exactly can you read a girl you’re talking to, especially when every interaction is unique?
Well, the first thing you need to do is create a baseline.
To see how this works in general, let’s first look at how it works in poker.
In poker, you can establish a baseline by assuming your opponents are an average of everyone you’ve played before…
Or you can ask yourself, “What would I do if I were in the same situation as them?” Essentially using your own thoughts and behaviors as the baseline assumption.
Both methods work.
You can use the same tactics to establish a baseline of emotional intelligence in game.
Starting from this baseline, you then adjust as you gather new information.
When someone’s actions defy your expectations, it’s a chance to enrich your understanding.
Whether at the poker table or in game, surprises are where learning happens.
When girls respond in ways that surprise you, ask yourself WHY she acted that way, and build on the baseline you created.
Let’s consider the example of a poker player going all in aggressively, only to reveal a bluff.
That should then inform how you play against them in the future. You know they’re capable of bluffing, so you can use this knowledge to predict their future play.
Similarly, in game, someone’s actions might not align with their words.
Say you’re interacting with a girl who is giving you a lot of shit tests yet remains by your side as the conversation continues – that’s a sign of interest.
Her words are saying, “I don’t care. I don’t like you.”
Her actions are saying, “I’m unwilling to leave.”
Someone lacking emotional intelligence would trust her words.
Those with emotional intelligence would recognize her “bluff”, and know that she is in fact interested.
As I said before, the ability to read her true intentions can only come from experience.
Over time, as you get more reps in game, the continuous loop of taking action, learning, and adjusting will form the backbone of emotional intelligence.
And emotional intelligence will take your game to heights you’ve never seen before.