How to Score (In Sports and With Women)

In this episode of The Todd V Podcast, I break down the psychology of those who “score” in life versus those who don’t, using soccer as an example.

Drawing from my own experiences as both a soccer player and a dating coach, I uncovered valuable lessons about mindset, risk-taking, and preparation that are applicable to various aspects of life.

One of the key takeaways from my discussion was the striking correlation between scoring on the soccer field and “scoring” with women.

As a former college soccer player, I noted that successful players, particularly those in the striker position, often exhibited similar personality traits to those who excelled in their dating lives. 

The strikers I played with in college were often confident and irreverent – they weren’t afraid to speak their minds, sometimes even disobeying the head coach. 

The striker position of course comes with the high-pressure expectation to score goals. The strikers I played with had so much self-belief that they sought to put that pressure on themselves to come through when the team needed them.

That same combination of irreverence and confidence can be extremely attractive to women.

Throughout my journey, I’ve come to realize the importance of prioritizing winning over merely seeking approval or looking good. I’ve encountered instances where playing it safe and conforming to expectations led to missed opportunities in both sports and dating.

There were times in my soccer career where I had an opportunity to take a shot, knowing I would get the shot off but with little accuracy. I also knew that nobody would blame me for taking that shot – it would “look good.” 

However, the optimal move in those scenarios near the goal box was often to reposition myself for a better look. The problem is that such a move could result in me not getting the shot off at all. 

That would look bad and could get me yelled at or even pulled from the game, even though it was the RIGHT move to make.

To win at soccer, dating, and life, you want to optimize for doing the right thing, not the “seemingly right” thing.

You always want to play to win, not to look good.

Thus, I advocate for embracing calculated risks and making decisions that increase the likelihood of success, even if they initially seem daunting or unconventional.

Preparation emerged as another critical aspect in both domains. 

In soccer, you prepare to win by having a goal-scoring celebration planned. In game, you prepare to win by having a condom on you when you go out and having a bottle of wine at home, among other things. Being prepared enhances confidence and reduces hesitation when opportunities arise in soccer and in dating.

It’s about seizing the moment and making the most of it.

Furthermore, I emphasized the significance of taking responsibility for one’s actions and avoiding the trap of making excuses or seeking sympathy. 

Adopting a winning mentality involves owning our choices, facing challenges head-on, and staying focused on our goals.

In conclusion, my journey in soccer and game have taught me invaluable lessons about embracing a winning mentality. 

By cultivating the right mindset, embracing risk-taking, and prioritizing preparation, we can increase our chances of success in various aspects of life. 

It’s about taking control of our destiny and striving for excellence in everything we do.

For more Todd V Show content, be sure to hit that subscribe button on your podcast player of choice.

Plus, I want to hear your questions in audio form. Send them to under the subject “Question for Podcast,” and you might just get featured on a future episode.

Until next episode.

-Todd V

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