Most men struggle with sex—not just in the act itself, but in everything leading up to it.
The biggest mistake guys make isn’t about technique; it’s about understanding the emotional journey of sex for women.
Sex isn’t just a physical act for a woman—it’s an experience that starts long before you even get to the bedroom.
I’ve had experiences where a woman was so aroused that she climaxed the second we started.
Why? Because the buildup was there—the emotional anticipation, the chemistry, the foreplay.
If you want to be great at sex, you need to master that process.
Here are five essential tips to make you not just better at sex, but better at turning a woman on before the sex itself even happens.
1. Understand the Genre of the Experience
Not all sex is the same.
It changes based on the person, the day, and the mood.
Rough, passionate sex after a night out is completely different from slow, sensual lovemaking.
Pay attention to her cues—if she responds to some slight hair pulling, she might be in the mood for something rougher.
If she melts when you tease her, she might want slow seduction. Adapt to the moment.
2. Move Slower Than You Think—Then Slower Than That
Men get turned on quickly, like flipping a switch.
Women, on the other hand, have a dimmer switch—it builds over time.
The more you tease, the more aroused she gets.
Rushing kills the anticipation.
Ideally, she should be wanting sex way before you start moving toward it. The best sign? She’ll start escalating on you.
3. Know What You’re Working With
Sex isn’t just about your penis. It’s about understanding her body and yours.
Positions that work with one woman might not work with another.
Some women are more sensitive in certain areas, while others need deeper penetration. Pay attention, experiment, and don’t rely on just one move to get the job done.
4. Use the 80% Rule for Escalation
Instead of going all in, stay just short of what she’s comfortable with.
If she’s okay with being touched somewhere, hover near it instead of immediately going there.
This builds anticipation, makes her feel comfortable, and makes her want more.
The result?
She becomes an active participant in the escalation.
5. Don’t Forget About Yourself
While pleasing her is important, don’t overthink it to the point that you lose your own arousal.
If you’re too in your head, you might struggle with performance.
Be present, focus on what turns you on about her, and if needed, take a moment to reset.
(Also, if you’ve ever had performance issues, know that medical solutions exist—there’s no shame in using them if they help.)
At the end of the day, great sex isn’t just about mechanics—it’s about connection, anticipation, and reading the moment.
Master these principles, and you’ll not only be better in bed, you’ll also create experiences that she’ll crave long before the clothes come off.
-Todd V
