Text Game – Dealing With Silence

Silence sucks. You meet a great girl, you hit it off, you get her number and maybe even agree to meet up. You send a few texts. Then…


Followed by more silence.

She’s gone AWOL and you’re not sure what went wrong.

Welcome to one of the biggest text-game questions of the modern-age.

Why does text-silence happen?

What did you do wrong?

And how do you get her back?


Silence is when you don’t get a response from a girl after you first texted her or when the conversation is going well, and all of a sudden, she simply goes cold and doesn’t respond.

Now yes, there’s a chance that something inexplicable happened.

Maybe she lost her phone (girls do that).

Or maybe she’s just busy (also happens).

The first thing to understand, is there’s a chance that you’re just not giving it enough time.

Girls, and especially hot girls, have lives. The hotter the girl, usually the more she gets texted and contacted by a whole army of men that want her attention.

Things happen. Get used to it.

A little PATIENCE goes a long way.

But sometimes. The silence you’re getting isn’t so easily explained. Sometimes the silence you’re getting is actually your fault.

Ya did something wrong, buddy.

But what?


Let’s say that the girl is clearly not busy,. Her phone works. Maybe she ever “read” your text and left that anxiety inducing read-receipt.

Maybe you’ve even given it a day or two and still you’re getting nothing.
She’s ignoring you for a reason and you know it. The most common reason why she disappeared in the middle of your conversation is because the conversation is stale and plain boring.

Simply put, the text exchanges are too logical and platonic.

It’s just a conversation that looks like an exchange of facts that have no sexual context rather than a meaningful interaction with some sort of sexual connection.

So, how do you break out of this cycle and let the girl know that you’re not just another boring guy?


If text messages get too boring and too conversational, you will lose momentum and the girl will stop responding. Most guys attempt to fix this by being too needy, sending the girl text after text to “remind her” of their existence.

Don’t do this.

Some guys respond to silence in a way that makes them sound way too eager or even veer into overtly sexual texting when it’s completely uncalled for.

If you do these things, then you’re just pushing the girl away and making her lose interest. One or two or three texts like this can even PERMANENTLY get you blocked from her phone.

Just like in real life, neediness is a massive turn off when it comes in text-form.


Nobody wants to admit that they did something dumb, but fact is, one dumb text really can abruptly end an interaction.

Just like in real-life, understanding the girl’s mindset is an important skill in-game.
Another word for this: Calibration.

A common reason why guys send dumb texts is trying to close way too early.

A general rule for closing over text is don’t just jump straight to the close.

Texting “Hey let’s get drinks at Bar X at 9pm on Tuesday” makes no sense out of the blue

Is she even available then? Does she even want to have drinks with you?

Figure things out first by “soft-closing” one text at a time.

Start with figuring out her schedule. Then if she’s down for drinks. Then close.

A crazy, insane thing you can do which almost nobody ever does is CALL HER!

Crazy, right?

No, seriously. Calling a girl (or even facetiming a girl) can be massively more powerful than a simple text close.


A super simple way of getting a quick response is to send a simple question mark. One of these —> “?”

I usually send these after a decent amount of time has passed (depending on the situation).

They’re a simple, non-needy way to remind the girl that she should probably get back to you.

Of course, don’t overdo this. One question mark is usually enough.


Often times, especially when you’re already having a fun and engaging conversation, a girl might go silent.

This can happen because she got busy. Or very often because you put her on the spot and tried to close.

Again, assuming that the conversation was going well and was thoroughly flirty already, I like to call out girls to get them to respond.

“Are you alive?” is a good one that’s both flirty and easy to respond to.

“Should I send a search party?” works well.

For the record, question marks or “…” can also work.

These types of texts are particularly appropriate when you’re already making plans.


There’s a certain degree of detective work you have to do when you get silence.

And this is something you learn with experience in addition to using your common sense.

The first task is finding out if her silence was your fault or not. If for example you sent a text that was too ballsy, a text like “Lol, was obviously kidding” is a good way to make up for the mistake you made.

If on the other hand, you tried to close too early or in the wrong place, just keep the conversation going and change the subject entirely.

Lastly, if things just got too boring, it’s time to instigate and get back on track. Something that beckons a reply.

“I saw the funniest thing that reminded me of you…”

What girl wouldn’t reply to that.

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Todd V


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