The Top 5 Most Common Mistakes I See Students Make

I’ve been behind the scenes in the community for a while now, having assisted Todd and other coaches for several years. Helped coach countless bootcamps, immersions, seminars etc. I’d venture to guess I’ve worked with over 1k students. These are the most common mistakes I see from students in the field:

Awkward approach timing

Most guys can approach, few approach well. What I mean by timing is most guys are doing shotgun approach style. They took the advice of “approach all” a little too literally. Their approaches are very abrupt, random, uncalibrated, and frankly just kind of weird the girl out. There is very little finesse in this style of approaching. The best guys calibrate and time their approaches well. Instead of randomly running up to her at an angle in daygame aggressively, they wait a second and walk next to her and approach in a more casual manner. Instead of tapping her shoulder randomly from behind when she’s talking to her friend in the bar, perhaps they position themselves to approach both girls well from the front, or give it a second for when the girl is just sort of standing there doing nothing. You want as many smooth landings as possible.

Zero escalation of any sort

Now that a guy is in set and has her hooked somewhat. He just sits there, and they just keep talking and talking…and talking…about very mundane things. He probably even gets her to laugh and become very interested, but it never ever breaks the barrier of sexual in any way. Eventually it just sort of dies out and she moves on. What the set needs in these scenarios is just for you to take some risk and verbalize your intent, physically touch, set the frame of man to woman in anyway. There’s way too much advice for how to do this effectively that is outside of the scope of this post but be aware if this happens. Personally, I think it’s best to escalate in a way that coincides with plotline/frame that the two of you have established.

Interaction staying in one location

This is somewhat of an offshoot of not escalating but is important in of itself. That is when the interaction literally stays in one place. I’ve seen guys have a conversation for an 1hr+, perhaps even with some solid escalation that literally just stays in the same spot the entire night. A good set needs motion. You meet her near the lounge area, you go to the bar together, you go sit somewhere, you leave the venue together, you go home together. I’ve seen too many guys just meet her near the lounge area, stay there for an hour with her and hope it leads to us going home. It’s likely not going to happen that way. The reason why this is important is that it changes the dynamic for her. When she just meets you in one spot, your always still just “the guy she randomly met” even if you were there with her for over an hour it still stays in that random guy zone. As soon as you move, it now becomes more of an investment for her and becomes “oh we are getting to know each other now”, which obviously can lead to good things. A set doesn’t need a ton of motion mind you, but just enough to get things rolling.

Not being aware sex will go down

This is always the strangest one and always the most frustrating to see. I’ve seen students have great interactions, the girl is clearly DTF, and then the student waltz back to us like “ya she was cool but I don’t think it was going anywhere” WHAT! GO BACK MOTHERFUCKER! I remember one time I’m overhearing the student in set in daygame, the girl is very flirty and suggest they go to a bar and get a drink. The student says he’s not sure if he should go and openly says he’d rather go to debrief instead. WTF! In a way though I completely understand. Back before I ever found game I was completely clueless to the obvious signs girls were throwing at me. So many missed opportunities that still bug me to this day lol. Here’s the thing though, while I’d love to say I learned just as much from negative experiences, tbh I learned the most when I had success. Success breeds success. Once I crossed that threshold and got my first same night lay, they became about 100x easier. So I would suggest ALWAYS push as far as you can and start becoming very aware of social cues girls are throwing at you. They are constantly giving you clues on how to fuck them if you pay attention.

The ability to be brutally honest with yourself

This is less of an in set type of mistake, and one I see just in their general learning. I’ll see guys just go out with no plan in mind and make the same mistakes and not even be aware that they are even making a mistake. There is zero introspection, zero analysis, zero care into their hours spent going out. I believe one of the most important abilities in getting good at game is having the capacity to be brutally honest with yourself. The best guys I know, even guys like Todd, can openly look at themselves at times and be like “I sucked today”, “I was terrible at XYZ” etc. They can be self aware enough to know where they need to improve upon the next time they go out, what they did well, what’s working, what’s not working, etc. Be honest with yourself about your abilities, it’s the only way you are going to make true progress.

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