In my years of coaching, I’ve seen two types of guys in game: those who plateau early and make slow progress, and those who skyrocket to mastery.
What makes the difference?
It’s simple but powerful—the ability to stay a student and avoid letting your ego control your progress.
When you start learning any skill, including game, you’re open, eager, and ready to try new things.
However, after a taste of success, something changes.
You begin to form an identity around your achievements, which can lead to outcome dependence—focusing on results rather than learning.
For example, after a successful first night at a bootcamp, students often struggle on day two.
They go from being an open vessel to having something to prove, and that shift stifles their growth.
This attachment to success becomes a pattern.
Intermediate guys, for example, fear approaching because they worry about not meeting their newly-elevated standards for success.
They develop “intermediate approach anxiety,” avoiding new challenges to protect their self-image.
True growth means unlearning these patterns, even if it requires temporarily moving backwards.
I’ve witnessed advanced students who, despite their success, keep experimenting and improving because they are willing to risk temporary setbacks.
The best students never think they have “arrived”; they remain curious, always open to learning.
The lesson?
Never stop being a student.
Challenge your ego, stay curious, and apply this mindset beyond dating—whether in sports, business, or life.
Embrace the journey, not just the results, and you’ll unlock endless potential.
Remember, success is a journey, not a destination.
-Todd V
