I have a principle I apply often, which I call: “Don’t fight the night”.
What this principle basically means is the more you can align yourself with the experience the girl (and her friends) are trying to have, the better you’ll end up doing in game.
Here are some examples:
Trying to pull a girl from a bachelorette party when they’ve just arrived at the club and she hasn’t fulfilled her obligation to the bachelorette = HARD… Pulling her at the end of the night when the whole party is scattered and the bride has gone home = EASY.
Trying to game a girl while she is trying to get into an exclusive club = WASTE OF TIME. Gaming her when you’re in the same exclusive club with her, or outside the club after = GOOD USE OF TIME.
Trying to get a girl to leave her one friend behind in a group of two = HARD. Finding a guy to talk to her friend = EASY.
Fast forward to an instructive experience:
Me and my crew were out at what is sometimes called an “industry night”. That is, a non-weekend night, when the people who work in the bar and restaurant industry (on weekends) go out since this is their day off.
These types of nights tend to have a lot of attractive girls and popular guys at them. People in the “industry”. They also tend to be a bit cliquey because a lot of the people there know one another and there is an element of networking, politics, and hierarchy, in addition to the partying.
In particular, the vibe at this particular industry night was one of a lot of people who either knew one another already, or who were willing to socialize, but were just sort of networking and meeting people… as opposed to having long conversations.
As a result, I was having what *felt like* a bad night.
Now this is all relative. People seeing me that night thought it looked like the girls liked me and etc., but compared to my normal night, (where I get massive attraction and near pulls from a lot of my approaches), it wasn’t going as well. I’d have good brief banters, but nobody wanted to leave their friends or have longer one-on-one conversations.
Also, my normal isolation tactics (come grab a drink with me at the bar, or come meet my friends for a minute) didn’t make as much sense when the girls were at tables with their own cool friends and free alcohol.
So I adjusted my strategy.
-I stopped pushing for longer interactions and started enjoying the short conversations for their own sake.
-I started talking more to the WHOLE groups, not just the girls, since the guys were linked with the girls in ways other than directly hitting on them.
So… I talked to one particularly hot girl at the top of the stairs. It was going well, but then she got distracted by her friends. I started to soft close for her # and a future date, but she was distracted by this point and it would have been needy to push. She left by saying to come find her later… yeah right 😛
A bit later I was talking to some of my friends in this girl’s near vicinity. She was dancing with another guy. A couple of random people knew who I was, and started shaking my hand and hugging me, and one guy wanted to grab a selfie. The girl saw this and left the guy she was dancing with to come give me a quick hug as well.
Everyone wants to be in the warm end of the pool, so once I seemed popular in that environment, our “pretty good” interaction suddenly seemed “very good” in her eyes.
She was once again dragged away by her friends, but not too far away (and importantly, neither of the drag-aways had been the friends dragging her away from ME, just dragging her along with them).
So after a few minutes, I “accidentally” bumped into her again and talked to her friends. This time she was quite happy to talk to me, and her friend, seeing this, gave an endorsement. It turns out the friend had an ulterior motive for being my ally. She’d met a guy, so she was happy to have a 2-on-2 interaction.
From here, it was pretty academic. Relax, enjoy myself, escalate without doing anything obvious, let the night work itself out. Let her friend lead.
At the end of the night, her friend invited me along with them to another bar, but it turned out my girl had to get home because she had a dog. So it was agreed my girl would drop the other two off. Priceless quote from the friend:
“We’re gonna go there, and then some people are getting out of the car and some aren’t.” and in case she was being too subtle, she looked at me and said, “You aren’t.”
Thank you dear friend :).
A fun note from when we got back to my girl’s place (and met her dog) was that the dog kept interrupting us. Most guys would have gotten annoyed, but I just played with the dog and let the girl get frustrated instead. Which lead to a fun final bit of dialogue.
At a certain point she logically decided she wanted me, so she went into the bathroom to briefly clean up. When she came out, I was playing with the dog. She took a commanding tone and said, “You! Get in here, now!” I looked at her blankly, and she raised her eyebrows and gestured toward her bedroom with her head.
“Oh,” I replied, “I thought you were talking to the dog.”