We’ve all been there before, you’re at a cafe, restaurant or even a retail store and you’re being served by a cute looking girl…
She seems to be responding well but you don’t know if she’s genuinely interested in you, or just doing her job.
You think about asking her out or getting her number, but you have no idea how to turn that thought into a reality…
So how do you go about it?
Today I’m going to teach you 3 simple steps to follow to give you the best chance of turning the cute girl behind the counter into the cute girl you’re dating in an incredibly smooth and natural way. Without coming across weird or over-gamey.
Step 1: Situational Conversation
Situational conversation is any topic that’s relevant to the current situation. This is the easiest starting point of the process, and when you start off with situational conversation the process will seem organic and authentic.
Some examples of situational conversation would be something like:
“This is honestly my favourite coffee shop in the city”
“I’ve been looking for one of these [item] for so long”
“What’s your favourite thing on the menu?”
“You seem like you’re always so busy here”
If you look back over these examples, you can actually break them into 2 sub-categories. You have:
In one case, you’re talking about how that specific situation is relevant to you, in the other you’re talking about her.
One of the easiest starting points is “you situational” and then you can very easily segue onto “her situational” because of the relevance.
This is the easiest way to get the conversation started, but most guys who get to this point typically run into some problems:
First, they stay stuck in situational conversation for too long, because they don’t know what to do after that.
Second, trying to close straight from situational conversation seems a little forward. Like it’s too big of a jump in the conversation.
That’s because they need to move onto the following:
Step 2: Personal Conversation
Once you’re having a situational conversation, you have to get out of it and move to a more personal conversation. The mindset behind it is that you’ve started some light conversation, but now you want to learn a little more about the girl.
This is also a much more high-value mentality then: “You’re hot, I want to date you.”
Any sort of “get to know you” topic outside of the situational topics you’ve already discussed are absolutely fine. A great general topic to move onto is:
What does she do when she’s not at work?
You can use the previous situational topic as a way to segue into the personal conversation. For example:
“So when you’re not serving coffee what do you normally do outside of work?”
State what you already know, then ask for more.
Now you’ve officially established a conversation where you’re getting to know the girl. This is the perfect time to now bring in some man-to-woman premise. You can start to make the conversation a little more flirty, and emotionally engaging for the girl.
Three easy, go-to ways to do this would be with playful teases, mini cold reads/assumptions and push-pulls. Please, don’t blatantly compliment her or over-validate her.
So now you’ve started a situational conversation, made it personal and added man to woman premise. If she’s responding well to you then the only thing left to do is the next step:
Step 3: Close
Like most elements in game, there’s a good way to execute something, and then there’s some not-so-good. When it comes to closing, guys will often do a weak close and it will damage the potential of seeing her again. Let’s make sure you’re not one of those guys…
Randomly asking for the girls Instagram is one of the weakest forms of closing. Please, do not do this. Am I going to sit here and tell you that it will absolutely never work? No. It can sometimes work…
Are there much better ways to go about closing? Most definitely.
If you’ve done a good enough job of getting to a personal conversation and even made it a little flirty with man-to-woman premise then you want to execute a good close. Here’s how you do it:
Suggest the vague idea of plans together and have her agree to it before you close.
So the weak version of the close would be the following:
You: *chat chat chat* – “Well thanks for the coffee, by the way, are you on Instagram?”
The stronger version would be:
You: Well thanks for the coffee, do you want to try to hang out sometime when we’re both free?”
Her: Yeah okay, sure! Sounds like fun.
You: Okay cool, well if you put your number in my phone I can send you a text.
To make this even better, you can qualify the girl before closing. Helping to add an evaluation frame:
*Talking about personal topics with man-to-woman premise*
You: Well there you go, I wasn’t expecting the girl behind the counter to be quite so interesting…”
Her: *qualifies herself*
You: “Well thanks for the coffee, do you want to try and hang out sometime?”
Her: “Sure, sounds good!”
Etc, etc, etc.
Now you’ve gotten her contact details under the premise that you’ll meet again in the future. Instead of randomly following each other on Instagram.
It’s worth noting that in the above example I’ve used “hang out” as the suggested activity. You don’t specifically have to use “hang out” but it’s one of my preferred terms. It comes across very casual, which is the frame I like to start with.
You can also use other vague terms such as “do something fun” or “meet up”. You can even say “go on a date” if you like. However in general I recommend keeping the suggested activity relatively vague.
If you want to suggest a more specific activity, then suggest “get a drink”. This is something that already has a strong social narrative around the idea of it being a date. Getting drinks is also an activity that’s commonly known to lead toward sex.
So when it comes to meeting girls who are working, this is the basic structure you can follow. If you’re standing there feeling a little nervous, unsure of whether or not it will go well, then just remember:
You’ll never know unless you ask.
P.s. If you’re struggling with the process of learning game, be it in your interactions, your texting or your dates, I’m currently offering some free Consultation Calls. These calls are typically around 30 – 45 minutes and are subject to availability. If you’d like to learn more, then you can send me a message or email me directly at email@example.com