The Secret Weapon to Solid Interactions (In-Person and Texting)
If you’re like the majority of guys who try to qualify a girl by saying something like:
– You seem kinda cool
– You seem fun
– You seem pretty interesting
Then I’ve got bad news for you. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
Qualification is a complex topic that most guys find confusing, so today I’ll shed a ray of light. — In this article, we’re specifically talking about you qualifying the girl.
If you want her to feel like she genuinely won you over then this is the EXACT format to do so. But before I present this format, you need to understand the following rule:
Effective qualification is a PROCESS, not a line.
The goal is to express that you like a certain type of girl and you’re determining whether or not she’s that type. To achieve this goal it takes more than a generic line.
So let’s start by looking at the 3 steps – Then I’ll explain further.
Step 1. Identify a topic that you’ll use to qualify her with
Step 2. Identify the type of person this makes her
Step 3. Reward her for being that type of person
You’re vibing with a cute girl on the street during daygame, or chilling on your couch messaging a girl on tinder. You ask her what she likes to do for fun and she tells you she likes hiking…
Now you’ve identified a topic: Hiking
What’s Step 2?
Identify the type of person this makes her. So a response you could give would be: “So you’re the type of girl who likes to explore and be out in nature as opposed to being locked inside all day?”
To which she should agree.
Now, what’s Step 3?
Reward her for being that type of person: “Well that’s cool, I usually like people who are a little adventurous. It’s way better than sitting at home and doing nothing all day.”
What you’re communicating here is: “I like these types of people, and you happen to be that type of person”. As opposed to: “I like you for no reason.”
In Step 2 and Step 3, the goal is not to tease, challenge, or “push away”. You’re looking for positives, not negatives. This is a common mistake that turns it into disqualification, which has a completely different effect.
In Step 3 you can amplify it by adding a “we frame” – Speaking about how these personality traits affect the two of you.
So in the above example, you can say: “That’s cool, so if we were to hang out we’d probably do something fun and not sit on your couch comparing Instagram filters all day?”
Alternatively, you can also be more aloof by saying “Okay, that’s cool, I like that.” – Change the responses to suit your style.
You can follow this format for nearly any topic, and like any format – The goal is to understand it well enough so you can use it at any point in your interactions, making it relevant to the girl.
Practice the FORMAT, don’t memorize the lines.
If you want to practice this at home, here’s an exercise you can do:
Step 1: Think about different topics.
Step 2: Think about the type of person this topic would make somebody.
Step 3: Think about the reasons that could be considered positive.
Someone who likes to watch Netflix could be the type of person who enjoys relaxing. This can be considered positive because they’re not the type of person who always needs to stay busy.
This is the opposite of the first example, but it follows the same format.
It’s critical to note that for this to work well, the girl should first be interested. Establishing a man to woman premise and having her qualify herself to you is ideal. If she has no interest in you, your qualification loses its power.
For one of many ways to do this, see my article on Playfully Teasing:
This is a very common element that’s missing from guys who are stuck in intermediate purgatory.
Add this to your interactions as a way to segway into a close and you’re bound to see improvements. You can also use it in text game and online game before closing for a date.
Til’ next time.
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