Ah the dreaded, evil shit test.
Bane of men. Destroyer of hopes.
Fear not my friend. What if I were to tell you that shit tests are actually a good thing. A sign that you’re doing something right.
At least if you know WHY they happen and HOW to pass them.
In fact, guys who have insane success with women see shit tests as compliments and opportunities.
However, if you hate shit tests, you’re not alone.
Ever had that moment when she says “Yeah, you’re not my type” or “I bet you say that to all the girls”?
Suddenly, that confident, cocky frame falls from beneath your feet, your brain goes into overdrive about what to say and you blurt out something so pathetic that you know is the wrong thing to say…but you say it anyway.
Congrats. You failed the shit test.
The girl rolls her eyes and walks off with a mixed feeling of disappointment and amusement (the wrong kind). The thoughts in her head: ‘Ahh, another beta-male. That was a close call – He almost had me for a second!’
If this is a recurring theme in your interactions with women, then you’re probably misunderstanding a couple key things.
But before we get started, here’s my official definition of a shit test:
A shit test is when a girl is being emotionally reactive to you but hasn’t made a decision whether she likes you yet, so she’s testing to see if you really are THAT guy.
By the end of this article, you’ll know how to pass shit tests with ease…and actually be THAT guy.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHIT TESTS AND INSULTS
A shit test is NOT a rejection or an insult. A girl telling you “You’re ugly and you smell bad” is not a shit test. That’s just a flat-out insult.
“Fuck off, get lost!” is also not a shit test. That’s an insulting rejection.
What a shit test IS is a girl saying something to you with the intention of putting you in an unhelpful frame with the whole purpose of seeing how you’ll respond.
She’s giving you shit to well, test you.
Make sense? Good, let’s move on.
WHY SHIT TESTS ARE REALLY, REALLY, GOOD
Yep, a girl giving you shit tests is actually a really good thing. It means that she’s being emotionally reactive to you.
You’re on her radar as a POSSIBLY attractive guy. A guy she sees as POSSIBLY high value.
Another older term for a shit test is a ‘congruence test‘. It’s essentially a test from the girl to see if you’re going to live up to what you’ve promised, so she can see if you’re the real deal.
In a manner of speaking, the easiest way to let a girl know that you’re an alpha male would be to say: “Hey girl, I’m an attractive alpha male.”
The problem with that method is EVERY guy is essentially saying that to her, so she can’t really trust that approach. There’s too much dishonesty in that form of communication.
Moreover, it’s very easy to say a pickup line and act confidently in the face of no bad response. Guys with bad game the world over attempt to do this all the time.
But remember that old Mike Tyson line, “Everybody’s got a plan until they get punched in the face”? It’s a bit like that. It’s much harder to have those confident, alpha qualities when a girl throws shit at you.
Especially when that shit throwing hits a little too close to home and strikes you on some core emotional level.
This is why most guys fail shit tests by the way. They’re too painful.
This is all the more reason why passing a shit test can be so powerful.
If you pass the shit test, then you’ve just confirmed to her that you are the real deal. You’re an actual, bonafide, high value male who can pass her tests without sweating. And she’s going to actively start showing you real signs that she’s attracted.
On the other hand, if you fail the shit test, then you’ve confirmed that you were just faking it. And that’s pretty much the end of that.
When a girl gives you a shit test I want you to view it as two things:
1) A compliment – because she’s emotionally reactive to you.
2) An opportunity – because if you pass the shit test then her attraction to you is going to go way up.
WHY GETTING ZERO SHIT TESTS IS REALLY, REALLY, BAD
Funny enough, a lot of guys that start out trying to get better with women don’t even get shit tests.
That’s because they aren’t even on the girl’s radar. This is a BIG problem.
If you keeping getting “It was nice to meet you”, that means you’re being tolerated.
She didn’t feel the need to give you a hard time because you’re not even in the category of guys that she’d consider sleeping with. It would be a waste of time shit-testing you.
Just like you wouldn’t go out of your way to tease a homeless man. Yeah, in theory you could. But what would be the point? It’s just mean and a waste of time.
As guys become more attractive to girls, they actually get more shit tests because they are now at least a sexual threat, and girls are more emotionally reactive to them.
(To learn how to be that attractive 10/10 guy that girls respond to emotionally, check out my mega-course The System)
HOW TO NOT FAIL THE SHIT TEST
The first step to passing the shit test is by not FAILING the shit test.
That means not getting emotionally reactive, defensive, combative or having a negative response.
An example of not failing the shit test is a phrase like: “I have no response for that. Can we just be normal now?” (One of my go-to favorites).
What that line implies is that ‘I don’t care that you shit tested me because I’m comfortable with myself, and now you’re being kind of weird.’
That’s a good way to not fail the shit.
HOW TO PASS THE SHIT TEST
Now that we’ve established what shit tests are, why they’re a good thing, and how not to fail them, let’s dive into my two favorite tactical ways of passing shit tests:
1) Agree and exaggerate
AGREE AND EXAGGERATE
With agree and exaggerate, you’re going to take whatever the frame of the shit test is and point out the ridiculousness of it through exaggeration.
Now, what is a frame? A frame is the assumptions underlying a conversation that dictates the meaning of it.
For example, if you walk up to a girl, she might have the frame that you’re just another typical cheesy guy trying to hit on her, which puts you at a lower value than her.
On the other hand, you might have the frame that you’re an awesome guy giving an opportunity to this lucky girl.
That frame puts you in a position of higher value than her.
So in the interaction, there are two conflicting frames. In this case, what the situation is about is deciding what frame should win and that’s why the shit test comes into play.
When you agree and exaggerate the negative frame she puts you in, you’re pointing out to her how ridiculous she is for having that frame.
An example of agree and exaggerate: a girl says to you “Is that your pickup line? Do you say that to every girl?”
Your response would be: “Yes, I’ve said it to every girl. I’ve said it 500 times today alone. It was weird when I said it to my grandma though… Maybe I should stop doing that.”
So with this example, you’re pointing out clearly how ridiculous and absurd it is of her to ask such a thing, whilst you’ve been witty, clever and showing that you don’t care.
The other easy way to pass a shit test is through misinterpretation.
What you do is first, misinterpret the negative frame that she puts you in with the shit test. Then flip it on its head so it puts her into the frame of making an advance on you.
For example, a girl says to you “That’s a really strange shirt you’re wearing.”
Your response could be “Hey, stop checking out my body. My eyes are up here.”
So you’ve misinterpreted her shit test as her checking out your body in a sexual way. You’ve changed the underlying meaning of what she just said.
And this puts the girl in a unique situation because she can either go along with the new frame that you’ve set (her checking you out), or she can explain herself in a logical way and try correcting you, and if she explains herself, then SHE’S being the try-hard, reactive one.
THE LAST WORD ON SHIT TESTS…
Fundamentally, shit tests are your friend. A sign you’re doing something right.
You want shit tests, and if you’re not getting them, you’re doing something wrong. (I have a course for that though).
But if you are getting them on a consistent basis, welcome them as something that levels up that interaction and makes the girl even more attracted…
…assuming you pass them with flying colors.